Morbid curiosity

Curiosity killed the cat. That is what is said, however... what if the cat is already dead? I mean Schrödinger must've been right about something right? If you don't open the box you never know if the cat is dead or alive. But then again, do you really wanna know if it's truly dead? On the other hand, do you wanna live in a lie thinking the cat is alive while it's just dead?

This is the struggle that didn't let me sleep last night. Metaphorically. I was packing my suitcase for my flight home I started having these morbid curiosity questions that completely blew me away. I'm not kidding when I say that my curiosity gets in my way a lot. Like a lot lot. I even wrote a freaking essay about what is after we die when I was in Canada. If afterlife really exists and what if not. And M. Paetkau freaking loved the essay!!! If I could somehow introduce this guy i would say that in many ways he resembles Gyorgy.

But back to the topic. I have this thing I'm really curious about and my wifey keeps telling me not to ask because she knows it's not a good thing to ask. I know it too but somewhere not so deep in my mind I REALLY wanna know. Like it's really bad how much I wanna know. I do realize that knowing will not help me or save me or whatever, but it's just the curiosity that doesn't let me sleep.

I somewhat wish I could write a script about it but I'm not sure it's a good idea because I don't think people should know my morbid thoughts. Or that they would want to.

So my questions remain unanswered and I will have to deal with them somehow. I don't how yet I'm sure I will find a way. Maybe I will just ask. Or maybe not.

-Misha