I'm thankful

After one of the more shitty days in my life in tube I realized one very important fact in my life, thanks to which I will never be able to give up on my life. This fact is as simple as it is complicated.

I will never be able to give up on my life because of all the things my parents taught me throughout. To fight. To work hard. To do my best at everything I decide to do. To not be a coward. To not let go. TO LIVE.

I don't always want to give up, but when I think about it, it always goes through my mind how easy it would be to just let go. Lately I've been finding myself in situations closer to throwing the towel in more and more often.

But then something my mom told me during my worst panic attack so far always hits my mind: "You wouldn't leave me alone, would you? You wouldn't do this to me?"

And in the end she is right. Even though I've thought about dying countless times, I CAN'T GIVE UP. If not because of anything or anyone else then because of her. I can't leave her alone. She's that one person, who has been there for me even after I threw my cap and goggles at her. She held my hand when my shoulder kept getting worse and had to stop swimming at meets. She's the first person I think of when I need someone to turn to. In the most simple definition, she is my mom, whom I love so much that I will not give up and I'll keep battling these shit days.

Mami, prosím, nikdy ma nenechaj samu. Ani keď Ti to poviem 1000 ráz, ani keď si budem myslieť, že všetko bude dobré keď to vzdám. Prosím, buď tu pre mňa. Lúbim Ťa. Ďakujem.

-Misha