Ups and downs

Life is full of ups and downs. Been there, done that.

One night one table tips you £40, another you barely make £40in total on tips even though you served over 50 customers. One night you're happy and everyone else around you is sad and dealing with his/her shit, another it's the other way around and you find yourself crying on someone's shoulder. One night you're chilling with a friend on Skype and the other you find out this friend is dying of cancer and her survival rate is 10%.

No person wants to admit the bad nights. I'm one of them as well; I just simply hate having bad nights, but they happen. Tonight for me was great, even though there's so much stuff that I have to deal with and I'm genuinely with several people, but it was an "up night" for me. On the other side of the page, my best friend had a pretty damn bad night. We're talking 'police and ambulance' bad - her housemate tried to kill himself. Ups and downs, like I said.

Lately my life has felt more and more like a roller coaster only going down to hell or somewhere deeper and I HATE roller coasters. I always get sick on them, however this ride is called simply "LIFE". My best friend's housemate wanted to get off, but you know there aren't stops or anything, dude. The thing is I wouldn't even mention this, but we used to be friends and even though he did insult me quite bad, I don't hold any grudges and I feel with him.

Life isn't easy and I have thought of killing myself, but (read my 'I'm thankful' entry from October 11th) there are obvious reasons why I'm still here.

I wish this guy finds his obvious reasons even though life is freaking difficult; we all need something to hold onto (yes, this is me speaking during the sunny days. "Just you wait, Misha. A panic attack is right around the corner for you. You won't be talking like this. Nope.")

But yeah.

Life sucks. At some points someone's suck more than mine or yours (a great friend of mine has freaking cancer and has 10% chance to live!!!), however those are the ups and downs, my friend.

-Misha